Loving your pet through life and death: a book project

Many people make the sometimes challenging choice NOT to put their beloved pet to sleep when s/he is old, terminally ill or severely injured. Instead, they provide support, love, and appropriate palliative care to assist their pet to pass away naturally. Not everyone understands this decision and may even see it as cruel. This can be hard on the person whose animal is dying at a time when s/he is already experiencing grief.

We wish to support and educate people wanting to explore the option to euthanization by creating a book with an alternative framework.  The book, the foundation of which will be the Buddhist view on death and dying, will provide practical information about the death process, palliative care options, support for the carer, medical issues etc.

Most importantly, the book will share the stories of people who have made the choice of palliative care, and the impact this choice had on their animals, their families/friends, their lives, etc.

This project was inspired by Jaffa, who was supported through her death by Lisa P. This is what Lisa has to say:

Almost one year ago, in a small remote Australian town, Jaffa, my 17 year old dog, began her preparations for death. All the vets that I consulted told me that Jaffa's death would be distressing and euthanasia the kindest thing. Most friends found it dificult to support my decision to care for Jaffa, and were concerned that I was actually being cruel. I constantly asked people about their animals and dying and was always told that they 'had to put their animals down'. I was fortunate to have the support of Jetsunma's teachings and regular long distance contact with an ordained nun. The teachings and support became the foundation for Jaffa's experience of dying and my own journey as I cared for her. A resource such as the Tara's Babies book project would have been so useful for me to refer to at that time.

If you would like to participate in this project, please email us your story, to around 1200 words in length. Here are some prompt questions that you may find helpful. You could also choose to focus on one aspect.  Just tell us the story you would like to share.

• Who was the animal you cared for? Have you cared for more then one dying animal?
• Why did you choose to care for your animal until s/he died rather then euthanize the animal. Was there ever a dilemma along the way for you about your decision?
• What was the experience like – good times and the challenges? What was most helpful and what didn’t work for you?
• What sort of help did you get? Who was around to help? Was anyone around to help? How were your friends? Family/partner? Vet? Financial? Spiritual supports?
• What was it like for you, supporting the caring process of the animal?
• Was it as you expected? (What was and what wasn’t as you expected?)
• What did the dying process seem like for your animal companion?
• How did you deal with the unpredictability and uncertainty of the dying process?
• How did you prepare yourself for this process? What background information did you collect?
• Funeral arrangements – what did you do?
• The aftermath – How do you reflect on the whole experience now – what stands out for you?

By sharing our stories, we can help others understand that the choice not to euthanize is not only a precious gift for our pets, it can help transform our lives through deep, abiding compassion.

deaths."  Margi H

Email us your stories at info@tarasbabies.org